Day Seventeen - Teslin, Yukon Territory

I was looking forward to the drive today, and was not disappointed. The further north and west we travel, the more beautiful the scenery becomes. It seems that just as we pass one majestic mountain range, an even more majestic range looms directly ahead. We pass ice-blue mountain lakes, gently flowing rivers, and miles and miles of unbroken forest. We have marveled at the beauty of God's creation.

This morning's highlight was a bonanza of wildlife sightings. To make things more interesting, we decided this morning to make a game of seeing wild animals, assigning point values to each species. So, a black bear is 15 points, a deer 5 points, a caribou 10 points, etc. The jackpot would be to see Sasquatch, which we set at 1,000,000 points. At first, the animals were far and few between, so we started giving ourselves points for the more mundane species: 5 points for a rabbit and 3 for a squirrel. Then the animals started coming out in masse. We saw caribou, black bear, and a whole flock of mountain sheep. And, so as not to leave our wildlife "hunt" incomplete, a big moose made an appearance. At the end of the day, we racked up 435 points. Our goal was 500, but we did much better than I had really thought we would.

We had lunch at this interesting place. Somehow the idea caught on to pilfer the place signs of one's community and nail them to a post in a small outpost town in the Yukon. Now there are thousands of such signs from all over the world. The only sign I found of any place I lived was one for Amarillo, Texas.

This picture is from this "sign forest". It was taken literally moments before Maggie threw up. The cause was probably just too many miles and too much sugar. Thankfully, she's doing fine now. I read in the museum next to this park the incredible hardships the men who built the Alaska Highway had to endure: mosquitos and flies in the summer, sub-zero temps in the winter, and generally tough conditions all-year round. I thought, "Sure, but how many of them had to deal with a throwing-up 4-year-old, a panicky 6-year old, a stinky 2-year old, and a fussy newborn all at the same time?" Alright, it's not really comparable, but travelling long distances with young ones can be quite challenging at times.

For dinner, we treated ourselves to a meal in a restaurant. This is actually the first time we've eaten out in Canada; until now we've been eating hotel continental breakfasts and sandwhiches. We found a great restaurant up the road from our hotel that had a daily salmon bake. The bonus was a trip on a houseboat included with the price of the meal. When I asked the girls what their favorite part of the day was, both of them said the ride on the houseboat. Now if we could only get a car as big as that boat, this drive would be no problem!

Day Sixteen - Fort Nelson, British Columbia

With each passing day, Alaska draws closer and closer as we keep heading northwest. Today we arrived at "Mile O" of the Alaska Highway, which will take us all the way to Tok, Alaska, on Friday night. The Alaska Highway, or "Alcan", was built during WWII out of military necessity since there was no land route to Alaska. Some of the people we've talked to about it have driven it when it was still unpaved, but thankfully it is paved all the way today. This picture is the monument that marks the beginning of the highway at Dawson Creek, BC.

We made it to Mile 300 today, to Fort Nelson. The drive was beautiful; it took us through the Northern Rockies and many times afforded postcard views of still-snow-capped mountains. The highlight of the day was seeing a mother Black Bear with two cubs. I pulled over and took this picture of them - at a safe distance, of course! The scary moment of the day was braking suddenly to avoid hitting a deer in the middle of the road. Thankfully for him and for us, he darted out of the way of our car.

We were surprised how warm it was. It hit the high seventies today, which around here is considered "hot" (the motel clerk warned me this morning that it was going to be hot today, 27 degrees, but that figure didn't really register with me!).

The kids are holding up, but we're trying to find ways of releasing some of the pent-up energy from sitting for hours in their car seats. Today we took them on a forced march around the hotel, along with plenty of "the last one to such-and-such is a rotten egg" races. Meredith has decided she doesn't mind being the rotten egg.

We're going to try and get an early start in the morning. I can't wait to see what the Alcan has in store for us tomorrow.

Days Fourteen and Fifteen - Calgary and Valleyview, AB

Oh, Canada! Our trek to Alaska took us across international borders yesterday as we drove into Alberta, Canada from Montana. The border crossing was very easy; the friendly border agent asked us a couple of questions, looked at our driver's licenses and the childrens' birth certificates, and waved us through. They must not have seen Brinkley in the back, or they did and didn't care, because they didn't ask to see the official letter from the vet that she was current on her rabies shot. My parents, in the car behind us with three of our children, had no problems either. The only potential trouble was a caterpillar that Meredith had caught earlier that day. She told my parents, "Tell them about the caterpillar." They didn't, and there was no search of the car, so off we went into the Great White North with the possible contraband.

We drove north to Calgary, taking a scenic route that skirted the Rocky Mountains to the west. It would have been far more scenic had the clouds lifted, but it was a beautiful drive nonetheless through rugged ranch country.

On the whole, Calgary, or at least the little we saw of it, looked like any American city with all the familiar brand names - Home Depot, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, etc. One difference was the total absence of billboards. Although I have no problems with advertising, I have to admit it was nice not being bombarded with giant signs along the roadside.

My parents continued with us today until lunch time, which was spent at a rest area just south of Edmonton (which, by the way, is the proud home of the supposedly largest mall in the world; just because the Canadians ban billboards does not mean they are opposed to all forms of crass materialism!). Then we said our goodbyes, and the six of us continued north while Gran and Papa Paul headed back home to Missoula. They were a great help to us in driving with the kids for a day and a half to give us a bit of stress relief.

This afternoon we drove past Edmonton and headed west, then northwest, to a small town called Valleyview. We are not yet on the Alaska Highway, but we are definitely approaching the more isolated parts of Canada. We are seeing fewer and fewer vehicles on the road.

What we have found in abundance, though, are mosquitos. Since we are heading to Alaska with their legendary mosquitos, I imagine it is only going to get worse from here.

This is the only picture I've taken in Canada so far! Maybe if we run out of gas sometime, Brinkely could give us a pull? If so, she'll be ready for the Iditarod!

Days Twelve and Thirteen - Missoula, Montana

We've had two activity-packed and enjoyable days in Missoula. It's been nice to stay put in one place for a couple of days, but we are eager to hit the road in the morning and begin the long drive north. Including miscellaneous driving here and there, we've logged nearly 3,000 miles on the Suburban since we pulled out of our driveway in Norman. With about 2,400 miles between us and Wasilla, we are over the hump and on the downhill side of the trip. However, the road ahead may be the most challenging yet - hundreds of lonely miles through the Canadian wilderness on the Alaska highway.

I've had the vehicle looked over by my cousin Sarah's mechanic husband Josh. Not only that, but he gave me a quick tutorial on how to replace the serpentine belt just in case it breaks somewhere out in the Yukon. I told him, "I think I can handle that." Pray that I won't have to try!

We are excited about starting the trip in the morning, but we will leave with some great memories of our short time here.

On Saturday morning, my mom, Robyn, and I all participated in a 5K run/walk in Missoula. Some things are just too good to be true. First, my time was under 18 minutes, faster than I had run in years. Second, I got first place in my age division. Now the catch: the course was at least half a mile short (really, a "4K"), and I am pretty sure I was the only runner in my age division. But hey, what a confidence booster!

In the afternoon, Robyn and I took the kids to the Carousel in Missoula. This place is special for us, as the original ride director was my great uncle Ron, who passed away a few years ago. Eight years ago, he gave us a private tour of the Carousel, including a free ride. His memory lives on there, as his image is part of the mural painted on the inner part of the carousel.

Later, we a had a family cookout and campfire at a local park. What a wonderful oppurtinity to see many relatives I had not seen in years. The fuel for the fire was almost entirely scraps from my mom's past woodworking projects, projects that make up many of the furnishings of our house (or rather, that make up many of the items packed on a truck currently located who-knows-where).

This morning, we worshipped at Garden City Presbyterian Church in Missoula. The pastor, Ron McKenzie, was a tremendous influence in my journey from new Christian to pastor. He is still there, faithfully ministering the Word to his small flock. Ron preached an excellent message from Acts 16 on prayerfully submitting to God's leading in our Christian service, not imposing our own agendas on God's plan. He said much more, of course, all of which was good food for thought and reflection as I prepare to serve the congregation in Wasilla.

One highlight of our visit here has been meeting Robyn's brother Joseph and his wife Tuan, and their one-year old Lily. They treated us to a sushi dinner tonight. Just tasting the food brought back memories of living in Japan.

Today is a very special day because it was exactly seven years ago that I married Robyn. I am telling the truth when I say that it has been the best seven years of my life. God has blessed me beyond all deserving in giving me such a godly and beautiful woman as my wife.

I joked with Robyn earlier, saying that after giving it much thought, my anniversary present to her would be a trip to Alaska and we are leaving in the morning. Thankfully, she's used to this kind of humor by now.

Days Ten and Eleven - Missoula, MT

We made it to Missoula about dinnertime on Thursday night. It's great to be back here after a two-year absence. In this picture, you'll see the damage we did to the nice clean bedroom my parents had waiting for us. Here's what'll happen to your house if the Johnsons come visiting!

The highlight of the day was the hotel we found in Billings. After hearing the cost of a room at the La Quinta (Spanish for, "overpriced"), we checked out a local place across the street. What a bargain! Not only was it almost half the price, but it was clean, roomy, and dog-friendly. On top of that, a hot breakfast from a restaurant next door was included. Since it was a bar/casino and minors were not allowed inside of it, I had to pick up the breakfast and bring it back to the room. It took a medium-sized box to fit it all (I found myself thinking, "hmm...we should save this box for packing...wait a minute, we don't need boxes anymore!). Anyway, nothing like a good bargain to warm the hearts of these penny-pinchers.

Today was spent in Missoula. Robyn and I are sitting right now in a coffee shop writing out this blog. They are about to close in five minutes, so I'll make this to the point: Scott - golf with Dad, Robyn - watching kids, Kids - finding worms and meeting next door neighbor's rabbit. There is more but I better wrap this up!

Here is a picture of one of the hummingbird feeders my parents have behind their house. One of the little birds even landed on my finger for a second!

Day Nine - Billings, Montana

The Johnsons keep trucking. We logged 665 miles today, driving from Fergus Falls, Minnesota, to Billings, Montana. Lord willing, we'll be in Missoula sometime tomorrow.

Lunch was challenging. We exited off the highway at Dickinson, North Dakota, to find some kind of covered area for a picnic lunch since it was raining off and on. We found a nice pavillion in the middle of a large grassy park that gave us some shelter from the wind and rain. The only problem was that for some reason the closest parking space was about 100 yards away. So we heard some tearful complaining as we forced the kids to walk through the cold wind to the picnic area.

On top of that, the break took far longer than we expected (though we should expect it by now) because of all the usual activities: nursing Moriah, walking the dog, changing diapers, taking kids to the bathroom, etc. Nearly three hours later everyone is fed, pottied, cleaned, and we are ready to hit the road again.

And we do hit the road, for all of 10 miles. At that point Maggie announced that she really had to go to the bathroom. So, we pulled over to a visitor center in the Badlands to take care of Maggie. But, while we're there, Robyn realizes that Moriah is actually ready to nurse again! So, she nurses Moriah, we all go potty again, and we're ready to go. It's here at the visitor center that we saw this big guy lounging next to the parking lot. He's our first wildlife sighting.

The only problem with the stop is that Maggie couldn't really go after all. So, we try again about 50 miles later. Again, no dice. She finally succeeds later after dinner.

Speaking of dinner, we returned to a steak restaurant that Robyn and I discovered in Miles City, Montana, four years ago. It's called the "Boardwalk Restaurant" and is a local favorite, judging by how busy it was. If you are ever driving through Montana, be sure to stop there for dinner. Everything about it is unpretentious and the food is great. Plus, they give free cheeseburgers for kids and free ice cream for every diner.

We spent most of the day driving straight into a very strong wind. I calculated our miles per gallon in one stretch to be just under 12!

After tomorrow we'll have a break from driving for a few days as we visit family and friends in Missoula. This is good, since the level of toys, books, jackets, empty water bottles, etc., is steadily rising in our Suburban. A few more days without repacking everything and it will be about the level of our eyes.

It was a long day of driving and we are all ready for the much shorter day on the road tomorrow.

Day Eight - Fergus Falls, MN

We made it to Fergus Falls, Minnesota, tonight after a smooth day of driving. The highlight of the trip was listening to "How to Eat Fried Worms," one of the many books-on-tape we brought along for on-board enterntainment. In fact, most of our luggage consists of books, toys, and other diversions for the kids.

We've travelled over 1,800 miles so far, although not all of those have been on the highway. Overall, the children are doing great. It's not easy being a young kid overflowing with energy but confined to a car seat for hours at a time! As for Brinkley, she's just happy being along for the ride.

Tomorrow is a long day of driving - a little over 600 miles to our destination, Billings, Montana. Our plan is to start early and hit Miles City, Montana, by dinnertime so we can eat at a little mom and pop restaraunt we discovered there a few years ago. If it's half as good as I remember it, it'll be a treat!

Days Five - Seven, Shawano, WI

Day Five of our excellent adventure began with a visit to Grandy, Robyn's grandfather. We are thankful that he is out of the hospital and slowly but surely gaining strength. After our visit with him, we drove north from Wheaton to Shawano, Wisconsin. The worst part of the trip was getting gas; I paid $3.47 per gallon in Chicago. I never thought I'd be hoping that gas would get "cheaper" than $3.00 a gallon, but what can you do about it?


Shawano is a small town half a hour west of Green Bay. My wife Robyn grew up here. The first thing you should know about the town is that it is not pronounced "Sha-wa-no", but "Shaw-no". It has a silent "wa". And while I'm on the subject of place-name pronunciation in the Dairy State, you should know that it's not "Green Bay", but "Green Bay". True cheese-heads always accent the "Bay", not the "Green". My wife schooled me in these things soon after we met.

After arriving to Shawano, we ate dinner at Luigi's, a local pizza place. Here in America's heartland, there is a seeming abundance of ethnic restaurants. We've had breakfast at a Mexican place, and dinner at Italian and Chinese restaurants. But we didn't miss out on local fare entirely; at a church luncheon on Sunday, a very Wisconsin snack, cheese curds, was served.

We spent the night at the house of Robyn's dad, a.k.a Papa Joe.

On Day Six, Sunday, we went to church with Robyn's mom. There are two OPC churches in the area that are very unique. Both consist primarily of Native Americans. One, Old Stockbridge OPC, has historically been made up of the tribe by that name. The Old Stockbridge people were originally evangelized in part by Jonathan Edwards way back in the 18th century. The other church, Menominee OPC, ministers to the Menominee people nearby. (We worshipped Sunday at Old Stockbridge, but a few years ago I had the privilege to preach at the other church. I understood quickly that I was in a cross-cultural setting when I saw a boy about 12 in the congregation wearing a T-shirt that featured pictures of three famous Indian chiefs and read, "Homeland Security...Fighting Terrorism since 1492"!)

After an edifying worship service and delightful time of fellowship, Robyn's mom hosted us for lunch along with Robyn's brother's future wife and in-laws. This picture was taken right next to her cottage on the Red River.

Today, Day Seven, began with breakfast with Robyn's dad and his girlfriend Pattie. Then, we spent the rest of the day at a local state park with our friends Karl and Allison and their three young children. Karl is the pastor of both the churches above, and is faithful and beloved minister of the two flocks. With seven children and four adults, we found ourselves playing zone defense - keeping the children from falling into the water, prodding along the stragglers, and generally trying to prevent the usual mischief.

Tomorrow begins our serious push west as we set out for Missoula, Montana. We are hoping to get as far as Fergus Falls, Minnesota.

Day Four - Lombard/Wheaton, IL

Today was uneventful as far as travel goes. We mainly visited people in the area.

First, the whole gang invaded Grandy's hospital room at Du Page Hospital to see him there. The good news is that he was feeling better and was discharged later in the afternoon. Then, I had lunch with my former pastor/mentor under whom I served as an intern for one year at Bethel OPC in Wheaton. It was great to catch up with Lendall and John, who is also a former intern there.

Finally, tonight I spent some time with Rob, a friend from Japan. He's just finished law school and is starting a job at a firm in Chicago this fall.

It's now almost 12:30 a.m. so I will keep this short and sweet. Tomorrow the travels begin again. We are heading north to Wisconsin to visit Robyn's family there for a few days.

Day Three - Lombard/Wheaton, IL

Today was a break from driving. We spent time with our friends in Lombard, and some time with Robyn's family in Wheaton.

Robyn's aunt, grandfather, and cousin are all suffering from one sort of ailment or another. Aunt Ginny is recovering from hip replacement surgery earlier this week, Grandy is in the hospital with dehydration, and cousin Shannon came home early from school sick. Health is something we take for granted until we don't have it. I hope we leave them in better shape than we've found them.

This time on the road has afforded me the opportunity to hear some of the "darndest things" our kids say. Here is one from Meredith today:

"Dad, I spend so much time holding Moriah, or reading a book to Sander, or playing with Maggie, or telling Brinkley to come inside - will I ever get old enough that I can just relax a little bit?" Nobody said being the six and having three younger siblings was going to be a bed of roses!

Day Two, Lombard, IL - Slow going

I'm writing this at 12:45 a.m. on Wednesday night, or Thursday morning to be accurate. We made it to Chicago after a long day on the road.

The highlight of the day was meeting an old high school friend in St. Louis, Rob. We met him at Ted Drewes, a locally famous frozen custard place. I haven't seen Rob for about 15 years or so. He looks older, of course, but still seems to be the same guy I knew in high school. He has a full head of hair, so naturally I resent him for that.

Robyn and I were just talking with our gracious hostess, Kristy, about how our stops add so much time to our driving. A normal person could have traveled the distance we did in about 11 hours or so. It took us 16 hours. We are the model of inefficiency:

First stop - nurse the baby, walk the dog, buy coffee, take the kids to the bathroom. 30 minutes.
Second stop - exit highway to search car for missing driver's license and Visa. Thankfully, they were found. 10 minutes.
Third stop - go to Wal-mart to call Rob and let him know we are running late. Leave two messages on two answering machines, one of which required phone card located in Suburban circling the parking lot. 20 minutes.
Fourth stop - meet Rob at Ted Drewes, nurse the baby, take the kids to the bathroom, make picnic lunch, order frozen custard, go to park to eat frozen custard, walk the dog, get gas, make two phone calls to Chicago to let people know we are running late. 2 hours, 45 minutes.
Fifth stop - visit downtown Sprinfield, Illinois, to find a "Taste of Chicago" fair heard on radio, find out it wasn't really open to the general public, go to first restaurant, hear about 45 minute wait, go to second restaurant and eat. 2 hours.
Sixth stop - exit highway to take Maggie to the bathroom, discover she can't go after all. 15 minutes.

Oh well, better late than never.

Day One – Joplin, Missouri

Today we are officially “homeless”. We loaded all of our belongings onto the moving truck and we returned the house keys back to our landlord.

Nearly everything went smoothly. The Bogert family arrived with their tractor-trailer in the morning, and with their help and the help of my parents and many friends, all the furniture and boxes were carefully and tightly packed onto the truck.

If you’re into packing, like my dad, you’ll be interested to see that even the car was put on the trailer.

Moving is just not something you do by yourself. You need the help of others, and we were blessed to have so many lend a hand to us today.

I said “nearly” everything went smoothly. The only mishap occurred when I neglected to properly secure the lid to the car-top carrier on our Suburban. As my mom was driving north on I-35 to drop off our kids at a friend's house, the lid opened up and luggage began flying off the car onto the highway. Another driver signaled to her the problem, and no sooner had she pulled over to see what was wrong when another driver pulled over with the lost luggage he had picked up for her.

Thanks to the kindness of these people, my mom not only pulled over before more luggage was lost, but she also recovered the two that had flown off the car. Thanks to the goodness of God, the flying bags didn’t cause an accident. A potential disaster was averted.

It was a good lesson to learn. I think I’ll be extra careful in securing it for the rest of the trip. Otherwise, we may have left a trail of underwear and socks on the highways up to Alaska. Someone mentioned that at least that would have made it easy to find our way back.

We covered 257 miles today. Robyn pointed out that we were already 1/20^th of the way there!

Day Zero

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

As he reflected on his life and many experiences, Solomon wrote these words to express one key lesson he learned on the way - in life timing is everything. There is a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to pluck up what is planted, a time to mourn, a time to dance, a time to seek, and a time to lose, a time to keep, and a time to cast away, and so on and so on.

Timing is everything. More accurately, God's timing is everything. In his gracious providence he leads and guides his people through those changes he has planned for us from all eternity.

In God's providence, he has led our family to a time of change. Having accepted a call to minister to a congregation in Wasilla, Alaska, we have sensed God's guidance in our lives. We are leaving behind a ministry, and a life, in Norman, Oklahoma, in order to begin a new ministry and life in Alaska. In many small ways, the Lord has confirmed to us his hand in this move. All of the pieces have fallen into place for us, and we are now prepared to load our worldly treasures onto a moving truck and set out for the long drive to Alaska.

My parents, who have more experience moving than most, and who work harder than most, drove down from Montana to help us pack. We couldn't have done it without their help. The garage is now full of boxes and stuff, and we are tying up the loose ends of packing. Tomorrow morning, Lord willing, the moving truck will arrive and we will begin our long journey from OK to AK.

As you think of it, please pray for our safety during the next two and a half weeks. And as we are driving with four children six and under, and a dog, pray for our sanity as well!

I hope to maintain regular updates on this blog about our trip to the The Last Frontier. I am also hoping to take some pictures along the way to share with you.

Timing is everything, and it is almost time for bed. Stay tuned for more updates.

An odd Saturday night

The night was odd because I was not preparing a sermon for Sunday morning. It is a rare Sunday that I am not in the pulpit, so this evening has felt a bit strange for me.

But it has been a busy day nevertheless. My parents arrived earlier in the week and they have been helping us with all the packing we need to do for the big move on Tuesday. So, I've spent most of the day either packing up stuff, moving stuff, or throwing away stuff. I think the last is my favorite!

I sometimes cannot believe that by this time next month, if all goes according to plan, we will be living in Alaska! I sometimes forget in the midst of the stress of packing that we are making a very big move.

It is during these times of change and busyness that I often feel spiritually dry. With so much to do, and so much to preoccupy my thoughts, it is almost impossible for me to carve out time for prayer, reading, and meditation. And even if I do carve out the time, my mind refuses to think of anything else but what needs to get done that day.

But I know the Lord is with his people in all the various seasons of their lives, even in those times when the press and pull of life seems to sap the desire for spiritual things. It is a wonderful truth that God never leaves nor forsakes those he has set apart in inherit eternal life in Christ. I believe this, but do I live out of this belief?

"I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)

Less than a week to go.

After months of planning, the date of our departure for Alaska is now very near - less than a week away. Our family has lived in Norman, Oklahoma for just over 3 1/2 years now. In that time, we've added two children (our "Okies") and one dog. So, we are leaving a bit bigger as a family, and a bit more tired and stressed as parents.

As excited as we are about this opportunity for service up north, there are some things I am going to miss about living in Norman. It goes without saying I will miss the friends we have made here. The hardest part about moving away is saying goodbye to them. But, other than friends, here are some things I'll miss (in no particular order):

1. Golf in January. I'm pretty sure this is out of the question in Alaska. However, I was told there is a golf tournament held each winter up there on a frozen lake.

2. OU football. We never actually got to see a game, but it's been fun to root for the Sooners.

3. Rusty's frozen custard. Next to Ted Drewes in St. Louis, the best I've had.

4. Oklahoma Redhawks baseball. Nearly everywhere we've lived, there has been a minor-league baseball team to watch. Great professional baseball at a fraction of the cost of going to the big-league parks.

5. Convenience galore. We live 2 minutes from the mall, the bank, the vet, Sam's Club, Blockbuster, Borders, Kinkos, Starbucks, a grocery store, and a gas station that sells cheap gas. We're about 5 minutes from Wal-mart and a host of restaurants too many to list. We've enjoyed having almost everything we need practically next door.

These are just a few things that come to mind. When you include the friendly people, a person could a lot worse than making Norman his home.

I do believe the Lord in his providence is calling me to serve the church in Wasilla, and is leading our family to live and minister there. So, I am very excited about the move, and am looking forward to beginning my gospel labors there. It's just that I'll miss some of the little things about life in Norman.

Heaven.....Boring?

Once a week, I meet with a friend, Bob, at Starbucks to discuss 25 pages or so of the "Institutes of the Christian Religion" by John Calvin. Before Bob arrived I read the following quote on my cup of piping-hot Columbian:

The Way I See It #230

Heaven is totally overrated. It seems boring. Clouds, listening to people play the harp. It should be somewhere you can't wait to go, like a luxury hotel. Maybe blue skies and soft music were enough to keep people in line in the 17th Century, but Heaven has to step it up a bit. They're basically getting by because they only have to be better than Hell.

—Joel Stein, columnist for the Los Angeles Times.

Now, it isn't worth getting too out of joint about Mr. Stein's thoughts on celestial matters. It's a catchy blurb on a coffee cup and is surely not meant to be a serious reflection on Christian teaching. It's short and provocative, perfect reading material for the caffeine-addled.

Maybe Mr. Stein has reflected on the Scriptures' teaching on heaven and hell, has carefully studied Christian theology, and has arrived at this mature view point after much thought and consideration. That could be the case. Or, it could be that he has just accepted the cartoon versions of heaven and hell without seeing much need to investigate matters further since no thinking person really takes such notions seriously. It seems like this is more likely the case.

To be honest, I have to agree with him. That is, if heaven is just lounging around on the clouds, listening to harps, and pruning one's wings from time to time, I'm definitely not interested! That does sound boring.

Leaving alone the unfair suggestion that the 17th-century was populated entirely by dolts, Mr. Stein's understanding of what heaven is all about is seriously mistaken. The Bible's focus on the life to come is not an ethereal existence in the clouds, but resurrection life in a renewed creation. It is a place where God brings to complete fulfillment all that life on earth was meant to be, and more - joy, peace, love, laughter, and the eternal enjoyment of the company of other people and God's creation. In contrast to the cartoon version of heaven and hell, the real living - the real partying! - is going to be in the former, not the latter.

Most of all, heaven is the place where Christ will be present in the midst of his people. For anyone who has come to know him, and the eternal life he freely gives, there is no other place he'd rather be than in his presence and worshipping him. For the believer, heaven, whatever it is, is where Christ is present.

I suppose staying in a luxury hotel for all eternity wouldn't be so bad. Especially if there is cable. But I'm afraid that if that is one's notion of heaven, the real thing would be a big disappointment.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11).