The Peacemaker by Ken Sande

There is conflict in my church. There is conflict in my family. There is conflict in my marriage.

I say this not as a revelation of some serious crisis in any of these areas, but as a statement of fact that holds true for every church, every family, and every marriage. Wherever people are bound together in a close relationship, there will be conflict at some level. Interests collide, personalities don't mesh, misunderstandings take place, and communication breaks down. Of course, the ultimate source of all human conflict, whether minor or serious, and what fuels and exacerbates the tension, is sin. Sinners in relationship with each other are bound to step on each others' toes (and worse).

Since conflict is universal, it is not surprising that Christians experience it as well as everyone else. What is surprising, though, and disheartening, is how poorly Christians often respond to it. If the statistics are to be believed, divorce rates are no lower among professing Christians than society at large. And church splits are depressingly common enough to testify that believers in Christ don't do so well at managing conflict.

But the Bible is full of teaching about conflict and how to appropriately handle it. The problem is that we Christians haven't been faithful in putting this teaching into practice. Ken Sande's book, The Peacemaker, is an extremely helpful guide for us to understand and deal with conflict in a biblical manner. I had read this book once before, and recently read it again as part of a leadership training course I am conducting at the church. One of men in the class said the book was convicting. I agree. I have not always dealt with conflict (both in family and church) in the most biblical way. In Sande's terms, I have been guilty of both "peace-breaking" and "peace-faking". I pray I'll be more faithful in peacemaking in the future.

If I knew of anyone involved in a serious conflict at home or in the church (or anywhere, for that matter), and they were open to instruction, this would be the book I would recommend to them. As the author argues, if handled correctly, a conflict situation can become the very means by which the grace and love of Christ is made known.